nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
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