I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
Randomize
