Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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