Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
i came home at 4 a.m. and made a dozen eggs and three lbs. of bacon. my mom woke up and the only thing she was pissed about was that i used the whole carton of eggs, but then she sat down and ate with me
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
Opened my wallet to find a slice of ham with a phone number written on it in sharpie.
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
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