Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
Randomize
