White coat. Heels.
Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
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