considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
Randomize
