btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
Things I woke up with this morning: half a mcmuffin, orange hair, one shoe and a friendly german man. Tequila was a brilliant idea.
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
Randomize
