At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
You were drunkenly dancing with a statue you affectionately referred to as "The Captain." I wasn't going to deny your happiness.
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
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