i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
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