I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
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