as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
My phone autocorrected "shhhhh" to "AHHHHHHHHH" and I feel like that says a lot about my life
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
Randomize
