Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
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