Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
Screwed.edu
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
I went to an adult Halloween party last night dressed as Mrs. Doubtfire, but I woke up on a stranger's couch surrounded by sleeping children in karate gi's. And I accidentally flushed my granny wig mid-puke, so if they wake up I'm gonna have to convince them that I'm just a weird older man and not a terrible cross dresser.
How did you come to this point in your life?
Good bartenders.
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
Randomize
