he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
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