How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
smell my finger.
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
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