How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
Woke up in a pile of people on the floor. His dad was already up and ask me to help him cook bacon because "7 lbs can be a mother fucker"
I either need to get adopted or have someone's baby, but I'm joining that family
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
Randomize
