i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
Randomize
