he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
My night just got really weird. In a sit down stall bathroom at this nice resturaunt and this guy walks in as I rip a humongous porcelain-splitting fart. Well, I hear him stop for a second. He then opens the door to the stall next to mine, sits down and says, "player two has entered the game."
Did you win?
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
Randomize