There was this creepy guy on the bus. So I puffed out my stomach & began so hold my stomach like I was preggers.
WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
The woman that sang I Touch Myself died today. There's only one appropriate way to honor her memory.
I'm on the job.
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
I need to align my fucking chakras
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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