It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
Just got a message from a guy on a dating site who says he helped me remove lime pulp from my eye in a club toilet 2 weeks ago.
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
Randomize
