Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
I stole a fireplace last night.
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
Randomize
