im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
Randomize
