I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
good news, i'm not pregnant. bad news, i had sex with ***** last night and i think i'd rather be pregnant
She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
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