Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
Randomize
