you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
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