her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
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