I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
Woke up next to my vibrator and a recipe for fudge brownies. If that doesn't scream I NEED TO GET LAID, then I don't know what else could.
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
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