it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
Randomize
