question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
The kid I'm babysitting just asked if I had a boyfriend. WHY IS A FOUR YEAR OLD MAKING ME FEEL BAD ABOUT MY LIFE
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
He couldn't undo my bra. He ended up breaking the clasp he clawed at it so long. We met on Tinder for God sake
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
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