but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
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