Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
Randomize
