Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
So.. my mom just told me she hasn't gotten laid in 7 years... I'm really disturbed.. at the same time... At least now I know why shes so damn cranky all the damn time
Please don't tell me you're asking me to have sex with your mother.
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
you told grandpa to call you daddy
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
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