Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
