Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
Why is it that every time I type the word "give" my phone spells out HIV?! You know how many people i've told I want to HIV them something!
Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
Randomize
