I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
Please stop calling me a pterodactyl during sex. It only happens when you're drunk, but still.
Randomize
