i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
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