Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
Randomize
