Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
No subtext here. People are naked.
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
Randomize
