I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
I wish they had a "No Yankees" filter on status updates.
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
Drunk walkin through police station. America
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
Randomize
