On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
Randomize
