Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
Who wears a wallet chain?!
please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
Randomize