if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
She tied me up with her honor cords...
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
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