I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
He told his wife he was too old to pretend to be straight. She tried to argue. He walked two tables over and was like this is my highschool sweetheart and he's an excellent fuck, we're running away together. It was epic.
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
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