the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
Call me as soon as you're able to dial a phone. I just took a shit behind a building in broad daylight and need to get the fuck outta here soon.
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
Randomize