So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
My tweets this weekend consisted of me telling every bar I went to that they were my favorite valentine. I've never felt like more of an alcoholic
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
Randomize
