Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
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