btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
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