I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
My roommate taped his phone to the ceiling fan to simulate walking so he could hatch Pokémon. Lazy people will always find a way.
MAGGIE IS ON MY COUCH PETTING AN HONEST TO CHRIST ARMADILLO AND SOBBING INTO HOT CHOCHOLATE. WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO TO HER.
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
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