ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
We need to get me chipped asap
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
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