i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
Randomize
